*This post is inspired by the Getting Grown Podcast and their weekly segment of Black Women Self Care. Every week the two hosts discuss what they did as their self care for the week. Check them out on whatever platform you listen to music or podcasts on.*
Self care, the most popular term on the internet, the thing that we all say that we deserve the most. Indeed, self care is so necessary, now more than ever in these times. The concept of self care means different things to almost anyone that you ask. To some, it’s alone time with a bubble bath, or a shopping spree, or their favorite glass of wine. As for me, self care has evolved into the most adult versions of myself. While I still shop at Target on a whim, or drink my favorite Pinot Grigio, there are some other ways that I’ve been taking care of me.
At this big age, my biggest self care flex is making sure that my business is handled. Now, “business” can be anything from seeing that my bills are paid on time, that my house is clean, or that I have life insurance. Obviously, these aren’t super glamorous, but what’s more alluring than knowing you’ve taken care of business? Listen, I’m 45 and life is very very real. Also, if this time in a pandemic has taught me anything it’s that time is not for wasting. And using this time to have my affairs in order has given me great satisfaction. The bills and the life insurance show me that I’m honoring myself and that I care enough to make sure I’m good. If that’s not self care, then what is?
Without a doubt, having a good therapist has been the best thing that’s happened to me in a while. I’ve finally found a practitioner who is helpful but firm, and who helps me see things in different ways to help my growth. Also, having someone to talk to freely, without judgment is what I absolutely needed in my life. Navigating adulthood is tricky enough on it’s own, having someone that provides the tools to help with that navigation is priceless. Seeing a therapist is not a trendy thing for me, it’s real life and most definitely a life saver. Both Therapy for Black Girls and Psychology Today’s website are great resources for seeking a professional to talk with.
Not gonna lie, this one is the hardest but most beneficial practices of my self care. For me, logging into Twitter or Instagram first thing in the morning is a very hard habit to break. Social media is one of the best tools that we’ve had over this last decade, no doubt about it. However, it can be a bit much (for me) these days with the constant news feed, public draggings, and just general mess that is crazy distracting. As a content creator, I have to be online for some time, posting or responding to comments etc. But as an act of self care, I have put time limits on my social media apps. Limiting myself to one or two hours per day and when the time is up, it’s up. Now, please know that I am a work in progress and I do find myself picking up my phone to scroll well past my cut off time.
On the other hand, logging off once my time is up has freed up time to do other things that need to be done. For instance, creating more, consistent content, and improving my skills. Which, as an aspiring full time blogger/content creator is pretty important. Also, comparison is something that I struggle with from time to time and being on social media constantly doesn’t help. One thing I’ve noticed since incorporating time limits is that it really flexes my self-discipline muscle. I often have to ask myself, what else could you be doing now instead of scrolling? See point one of this blog post, there is business to be handled, books to be read, walks to be taken and inspiration to be found beyond my phone screen.
Do What Works Best for You
In conclusion, self care is just what it means, taking care of YOUR SELF. It’s a personal thing, something that we cultivate for our lives and needs. There are days that my self care looks like binge watching Grey’s Anatomy while eating snacks and putting off work until later. Whatever way you practice self care, enjoy it, it’s meant to be enjoyed and indulged in. Above all, it’s necessary. Take care of yourselves.