Get to Know Me Lifestyle

I’m No Joan Clayton…

The Fab Four

**I wrote this blog post on my personal blog way back in July 2011. In September 2020, Girlfriends was added to Netflix’s regular rotation so I’ve had a chance to watch this through the eyes of a 40 something. When the original post was published I was 36, but still, the sentiment is the same. I love the show, I LOVE Tracee Ellis Ross, and all of the characters on the show. Also should be noted that I watch shows for entertainment, and Girlfriends is no different.

You all remember (and love) the show “Girlfriends” right? When it first aired it was quickly deemed the black girls Sex and the City, as it was about four best friends dealing with love, relationships and all around drama but with a comedic twist. I loved the show; in fact, I still watch the re-runs when I can catch them.  When the show first aired I immediately connected with the main character Joan Clayton. She was charismatic, over the top, seriously Type A and had a keen eye for fashion.  The one and only thing I could never quite grasp was Joan’s thirstiness to get and keep a man.

While it was funny to see her go on date after date and damn near chase down and stalk the man she wanted to make her future, after a while it just made me uncomfortable. Don’t get me twisted, I am all for wanting and looking for love, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  I’m even cool with a woman who pursues the man she is interested in..to a point. I have been guilty of the Joan Clayton syndrome a time or two and let me tell you, it is not pretty. I can’t (won’t) go into details, but I was truly doing the most.

Fast forward to now…I am at a place (finally) where I am absolutely positively good with being a single woman. Why? Well because I see now that I have choices. Lots and lots of choices. And what’s most important to me is that I have the freedom to make those choices without  having to answer to anyone. No worries about why Boo didn’t call when he said he would, no ex-girlfriend drama, no accountability for anyone else’s emotions but my own. Selfish much? Maybe, but that’s good for me right now.  I’m not in a rush to settle down and commit to one person. Been there, done that, wrote a post card. I’m enjoying the dating scene too much, I love meeting new people and going different places with them. Yes, I’m in my 30’s (now in my 40’s) but so what, who says a person has to get married or have kids by a certain age? I don’t buy into that biological clock theory anymore. If it’s going to happen it will, when it’s supposed to. Meanwhile, I’ve curbed my J-Clay tendencies, and can now look back and laugh at some of the stunts I pulled to “get” a man. Chile please…it’s a new day…and I’m feeling good.

**Did you watch Girlfriends when it originally aired? If you’re catching it on Netflix, what are your thoughts on the show. Personally, I still love it. Yes the characters can be annoying, I think that is what makes the show (IMO) because they are nuanced, they definitely have their flaws, they had times when they were terrible friends to each other, but overall, it’s a great show. What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below. And don’t forget to share this post!

XOXO_Lydia Marie

(2) Comments

  1. So I had seen bits and pieces of it growing up, but now that I’m in my early thirties and that i have had the chance to watch the whole series, it resonates so much deeper. Just like you stated, the characters were extreme versions of qualities we all have, so that we could all relate to a few of them somehow. They all had their good qualities and bad ones. I think seeing it in such a setting also served as a mirror for some, because sometimes you do find yourself doing all sorts of stuff thats dumb in relationships and you need someone to just show you that wow, that was crazy

    1. Exactly! That’s what made the show real to me because they were all flawed in some way. It was relatable to see these less than perfect relationships between friends and romantically. Thanks for reading!

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